Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
