I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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