And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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