Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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