he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
