Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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