We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
