Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
