It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
