I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
