Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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