Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
