Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
