Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
