Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
