Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize