I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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