you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's never too late to be topless.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize