Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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