Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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