she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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