ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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