Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
