We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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