Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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