I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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