I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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