i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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