Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How's work?
Spinning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
