Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
