and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
