Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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