A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
