Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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