I need help removing her.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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