Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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