The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
