she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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