i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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