I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
