Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
