its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
