You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
