i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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