Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
