It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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