you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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