i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
