I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
