I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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