she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
