I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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