I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize