standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
