On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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