i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
