WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
