We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
MIDGETS
????
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
