respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it penis luge time yet?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
