I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
