More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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