How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize