I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
