im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
