I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
